Advice from the Professors

Genetically Doomed

From: Jason

Question

I understand that most women suffer from control issues, that's the nature of the mommy. They need to feel in control of everything at all times. My wife tries to take so much control, she is so worried about what everyone else is doing that she is failing to fulfill the duties that SHE needs to be worrying about. When she gets pissed off, everything comes to a screeching halt. No laundry, no dinner, no dishes, no bathing of the children, leaving the rest of us to pick up the slack. Trying to talk to her is pointless, because when she hears something she doesn't like, she leaves the room, goes to our room and closes the door, or gets in her car and leaves. She wants me to be understanding of "how she is" and seems unwilling to understand how I am, or take measures to create harmony. I am the one that is expected to make changes and sacrifices, while she continues her behavior. When she feels that I should be ready to talk, either we talk or there is trouble. My question is, how can I respond to her, what can I say to make her realize what she is doing? I have tried kindness, love, patience, anger, guilt, sadness, sympathy, and a whole host of other emotions and techniques, but no matter what I do I only seem to piss her off more. She was never like this for the first few years, then we had 2 wonderful children and it all went downhill from there. I know that women never validate things their husbands say, so is my cause hopeless? Is there some magic words that will make her turn around? Or is my best bet to budget for beer, pizza, and a used couch? To be honest, I'm not sure I want to be married anymore, not to just my wife, but ANY women. My current wife is my 2nd wife. Any help you can lend would be greatly appreciated. I just want to know what happened.

Comments

Jason,

You are suffering from a common problem- believing that you can alter your Mommy's views and moods. Bluntly stated, this cannot be done. Even though deep down you know this as fact, your genetic makeup continues to drive you into action designed to alter Mommy's mood. Your genes drive this behavior because they know when she is in a "good mood" (all things being relative) she is more near receptive to sex. Your genes like that- so, they create a feeling of discomfort in YOU whenever she is in something less than the "good mood" mentioned earlier. Genes that have successfully driven men to calm Mommy have won out over the eons- and now you are stuck with them.

Our solution? Drink more alchohol! With additional drinking you may be better able to ignore the genetic signals that cause your discomfort. By supressing these signals you can then be capable of ignoring the moods and attitude Mommy has of which you have no control.

Be advised that you are in for a rocky time as you distance yourself from the "Bad Mommy"- she will act out. And, she may win out over the "Good Mommy" that MAY be lurking inside. Remember that scene from the movie "The Excorcist"? The priest ended up flying out the window, smashing into the unforgiving sidewalk below. Of course the right amount of alchohol can act as a apin killer as well.

-Prof. Bakeman-