Advice from the Professors

Yours, mine, and mine

From: Busted in Baltimore

Question

Your website and book are both great! BUT, I need your help. Why is it that whenever we start talking about money issues my mommy seems to take the “what’s yours is ours and what’s mine is mine” approach?

To top that off when I throw that hard earned cash into the community chest she seems to quickly blow it on more crap from Pottery Barn. What happened?

Busted in Baltimore

Comments

Dear Busted,

Although most mommies would have you believe they are the most selfless life-forms on the planet the opposite is commonly true. Nearly all Mommy to Mommy communications focus on which one is the most tired, which one has the hardest schedule, which one has the dumbest husband, which one had to cut her hair the shortest because they are too busy to take care of it, etc. It is the fierceness of this competition that illuminates the self-centered compass found in the highest magnitude of Mommies.

A Tsunami Mommy’s first priority is herself, next is the kids, you and the dog rate an alternating third and fourth depending on the day. This prioritization makes it easy to see how the “yours is ours-mine is mine” mindset can exist. The most bloated form of this thinking is more like “what yours is mine and what’s mine is mine”. Consider yourself lucky.

As for the spending pattern, re-read the chapters in our ground-breaking book pertaining to homeownership. Pay particular attention to the dreaded Martha Stewart Syndrome (MSS), which has taken on epidemic proportions. We are currently lobbying congress to divert some of the smallpox vaccine money to find a cure for MSS- but since 60% of the U.S. economy is built on mommy’s “shelter spending” we may be shooting ourselves in the foot on this one.