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Ask the Professor Q&A
Location: Top Secret Research Lab
Reporting: Prof. Bakeman
As Professors of Matrimony we spend quite a bit of time trying to understand the differences between men and women. In one category there seems to be a huge gap. Guys in most cases are always on the look-out for additional mates, or at least just “looking”. This is in more common circles known as R.E.D. or Roving Eye Disorder. And usually has Mommy seeing red.
Now, news on the diet research scene may shed light on the condition. The Wellcome Department of Imaging Neuroscience at University College London has performed a number of live brain scans and found out why people have room for desert even after eating a huge meal. Could this same capability be what takes place in males with R.E.D.?
According to Jay Gottfried- a scientist over there- his “restaurant phenomenon” is typified by a person stuffed full of mashed potatoes discovering they have room for “something else” right when the desert cart rolls by.
Known as “specific satiation” this condition seems to match what happens in most married males. After nibbling on Mommy for years on end they discover room for something else, especially on hot summer evenings when the female version of the desert cart rolls by.
Our very own Professor Krinbring has done research in this arena and found that the amygdala and orbitofrontal cortex are the overly active brain areas in question in subjects diagnosed with R.E.D., which afflicts nearly 90% of all married males. Amazingly, those same brain areas are invovled with Dr. Gottfried’s specific satiation.
According to Prof. Krinbring: “R.E.D. is a common but enjoyable malady. Our focus here at the Married To Mommy research lab is to help all married guys live as pleasant a life as possible. Unfortunately, with this diet research going on it won’t be long before a drug is developed to block activity in the orbitofrontal cortex in such a way as to negate specific satiation. If they are successful with that you can bet it won’t be long until Mommies will start slipping that very same drug in their husband’s nightly cocktails in a drastic attempt to rid the world of R.E.D. Our work begins now to create an antidote should the Mommies find success. We need to allow guys to continue on with their distractingly delightful R.E.D. condition.”
As always the Professors are here to help.