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Ask the Professor Q&A
Location: The Field
Reporting: Dr. Will Cody
Date: 31 Mar 2003
Time: 14:53
Now that Major Mommy Burk has demonstrated that she will not hesitate to employ any and all manner of "dirty tricks" in her seige of Augusta National this Uncivil War documentarian sees her as uniquely qualified for shortening the Battle for Bagdad. Anyone who can propagandize some sort of connection between our brave women on the front lines of Iraq and brazen Mommies on the upcoming picket lines of the Masters definitely has what it takes to go head-to-head with Saddam's "spin machine".
To quote Maj. Burk... "Broadcasting the Masters now and showcasing a club that discriminates against women is an insult to the nearly quarter million women in the U.S. armed forces," she said at a news conference last Wednesday.
Maj. Burk's brand of reasoning and rhetoric is of the "caliber" that would produce more "shock and awe" in the minds of the Iraqi Regime than any bunker-buster landing on their heads.
Maj. Burk... "Uncle Sam needs your mouth" on the outskirts of Bagdad, pronto!...Your proven ability to concoct bizarre diatribes is guaranteed to leave Saddam and his gang emerging from their bunkers with looks on their faces that can only say.... "WHAT HAPPENED?!"