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Ask the Professor Q&A
Location: The Field
Reporting: Field Agent Dr. Cody Prophet of Par / Seer of Swings
Date: 14 Mar 2003
Time: 14:21
Dateline: 3/12/03
Dear Profs:
We’ve got a brave man standing "in the gap” down in Augusta, in the person of Sheriff Ron Strength (How apropos is that name?), who finds himself directly in the sights of Major Mommie Burk….the “kill-joy” who has made no bones about her goal of turning this year’s Masters literally into a “mockery”… threatening to publicly humiliate and embarrass patrons and corporate sponsors as they enter the tournament gates.
Sheriff Strength is THE guy who will approve or deny Burk’s permit to demonstrate…so we certainly don’t want this stalwart defender of the faith, already under the withering gaze of the intense, phone-ringing-off-the-hook Mommie-media attention, standing there in the glare with a look on his face that says….”WHAT HAPPENED?” Therefore, I’m imploring you guys back at HQ to get a copy of your book into Sheriff Strength’s hands pronto!!
Major Burk, and her “Mommies with microphones” minions are cooking up all manner of questions calculated to put the Sheriff smack dab on the “grill”. Without your manual in hand he might just be fool enough to actually attempt to provide a direct answer to a direct question!!! If he tries something as brazen as that and he’s going to end up looking like Deputy Barney Fife…not Sheriff Strength.
So far, the Sheriff has performed admirably in the “deflection” department, only stating… “Allowing demonstrations could pose a safety hazard.” (Not bad…but with some coaching, he could add stuff like...“to women and children.”)
So, on behalf of golfing guys everywhere…please get your wisdom into the mind and mouth of “THE LAW” down in Augusta “To Chill a Mockingbird”.
Dr. Will Cody