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Ask the Professor Q&A
Location: Florida
Reporting: Prof. Bakeman
Date: 06 Dec 2002
Time: 12:22
Keeping troop strength at 100% is crucial during any battle. And so it is during the Siege of Augusta, in this the seventh month of fighting.
Private First Class William “Billybob” Gates is Fort Augusta’s newest recruit following the misfortune of Sergeant Wyman (reported by Prof. Krinbring) just a few days ago. Sgt. Wyman’s capture reduced the total troop count at to 299.
“Keeping the garrison at full strength is paramount to our success.” said General Hootie Johnson. “Private First Class Gates is a welcome addition and will no doubt help us in our defense of the fort.”
Unnamed Augusta sources say that plans call for PFC Gates to undergo basic training in nearby Florida in order to acclimate to the new climate.
“I look forward to drilling PFC. Gates’ money grubbing, monopolistic, mossy, MS-DOS butt into the ground,” remarked Drill Sergeant Guy Salot, a twenty-year veteran assigned to Gates. “When I’m through, he’ll be ready for anything those damn Mommies can throw at him.”
PFC Gates will be schooled in AAQWAQ (Answering a question from Mommy with a question), Vagueness, Conflict Avoidance, and GS (general stoicism) during his short stay in Florida.