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Ask the Professor Q&A
Location: Fort Augusta
Reporting: Prof. Krinbring
Date: 20 Nov 2002
Time: 09:43
Defending against the continued if somewhat confused assault on Fort Augusta, General Hootie Johnson recently took Major Mommy Martha Burke back to the basics she conveniently ignores: "We are a private club. Private clubs are good. The Girl Scouts. The Boy Scouts. Junior League. Fraternities. Sororities. Are these immoral?" He goes on to point out the lack of connection between discriminating on the basis of race and gender, "Do you know of any constitutional lawyer who's ever said they were the same? Nobody accepts them as being the same."
That's a nice salvo of basic logic fired at the menacing Ms. Burke, General. But, you are forgetting you are dealing with a Major Mommy here. Major Mommies not only want to control everything all the time, they operate on the "Mommy Equal Share Philosophy": What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too! This is why you’ll often hear a Mommy preaching the virtue of sharing…because you’ve got something she wants!
As for “controlling everything all the time”, Mommy Burke is obviously frustrated by her inability to control the goings on inside the regal gates of Fort Augusta, so she continues the campaign against a resolute and valiant club of guys who just want to play a quiet round of golf now and then.
Keep your helmet on Hootie, and keep up the fight!