RED ALERT RED ALERT RED ALERT

Location: London
Reporting: Prof. Krinbring
Date: 06 Jun 2002
Time: 13:18

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The Professors request all guys in the vicinity of Paul proceed to his assistance at once-- Last known location: London, partying with the Queen

As Sir Paul and Heather Mill's wedding date draws near, The British press are reporting Paul's friends and family are demonstrating some reservations, comparing Heather to a praying mantis and, even worse, Yoko Ono.

A family friend is quoted as saying: "Stella (Paul's daughter) thinks Heather saw Paul was vulnerable and pounced on him like a praying mantis. Now she's dragging him down the aisle. In Stella's eyes it has been done with indecent haste."

Even some of Sir Paul's friends are joining the protest. One McCartney friend told the New York Post that Heather "drags him to parties and keeps him away from old chums. Heather controls him to a large extent, and has started dictating who he can talk to, who he can be friends with."

The shocking thing about this is that even Paul McCartney is not immune to "Hamster Syndrome". HS is characterized by a guy repeatedly falling under the seductive control of Raptor Pre-Mommies and never realizing that they take him to exactly the same Mommy-world the previous one did. Guys with this affliction
are a lot like the little hamster running frantically in his wheel to nowhere. See woman, get trapped, see new woman ,get trapped again; over and over with the same result.

And how is she able to do this? Most likely by sucking ever last drop of his mojo right out of his life tube! Think about it, he probably hasn't had that happen since before Stella was born and she's something like 34! He thinks he's died and gone to heaven.

He doesn't realize this new super-babe is taking him to the same place photo journalist/rock star groupie Linda Eastman did oh-so-many years ago. Camera-babe exposed Paul to a few "Kodak Moments" and BAM!, she was traveling with the band, pretending to play keyboards, and feeding Paul Tofu sandwiches while keeping him away from all the young, hot raptor groupies. Eventually, Paul ended up isolated on some farm in the middle of nowhere with four kids and a herd of sheep wondering; What Happened?

More disturbing than the standard mojo depletion tactics is that this is Paul Fucking McCartney! He's rich, good looking, loaded, and ONE OF THE BEATLES! This guy isn't some pie-eyed kid. He's mature, been around the world a million times, and has more choices of women than 99.9% of the guys on the planet. He makes his recent selection (a "PC" super-babe) and whatdayaknow? Underneath; SHE'S A MOMMY! If a guy like that isn't immune to the Hamster Sydrome what chance do normal guys have? Be afraid, be very afraid.

*** This is only the second Red Alert the Professors have ever sent. The first was when Yoko took down John and the Beatles.

Covert Intelligence

RED ALERT RED ALERT RED ALERT

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Last changed: July 05, 2009