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Ask the Professor Q&A
Location: on the commute
Reporting: Prof. Bakeman
Date: 07 May 2002
Time: 09:27
Dateline May 3 Today’s USA TODAY had an interesting “factoid” down in the bottom left hand corner of the front page, where they always put little interesting charts and such.
USA TODAY’s chart showed four little brides, each up on the top of a column representing the average price tags of weddings in the Southeast ($17,100), Southwest ($17,500), Upper Midwest ($19,300) and New York metro ($31,800) The caption stated “ Weddings cost most in NYC” with sub copy- “The average wedding costs nearly $19,000.” As a Professor of Matrimony I couldn’t leave this one alone- just too much good stuff here.
First, it’s no wonder many Mommies become disenchanted with the guys they married. It’s impossible not for this to happen. After getting the royal treatment from their fathers during their formative years, Mommy-brides get a “special day” that puts them at the very center of attention for of a spectacle that costs about $4,000 per hour! Hell, the filming of Spiderman costs less than that.
This brings up another curious thought. Have you ever noticed that when guys do ceremonial stuff they don’t make things nicer, they actually head in the opposite direction. Frat houses have “hell week,” the military has “boot camp,” doctors started a guy’s tradition a long time ago of “residency” where they work 24-7 for a couple of weeks and then haul gall bladders out of tonsillitis patients. Guys like to create unbearable rights of passage. Everything after that seems like a walk in the park.
When women get together for traditional ceremonies and rights of passage they take reality and twist it into something near to heaven. Just look at senior proms, “sleepovers” where they paint each other’s toes and eat ice cream all night, bridal showers, and the twenty thousand dollar weddings. So, when a new-Mommy comes to the realization that her freshly caught hubby is not going to deliver on her white-picket-fence-make-a-wish dream world, it gives her yet another reason to be pissed at him most of the time!