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Ask the Professor Q&A
Location: New Orleans, Louisiana, USA
Reporting: Prof. Bakeman
Date: 12 Apr 2002
Time: 19:30
Curiously similar to the half-full/half empty phenomenon regarding the glass of water, I've stumbled upon a recurring challenge: Interpretation of the delivery of the Groom's vows.
After flying half way across the continent to watch a fellow middle-class man march his beautiful young daughter down the aisle at the beginning of a $30K+ wedding, I observed the "nuptial Mass" as a highly trained professional. When it was time for the Groom to do his thing there was the usual hush of the audience, as they waited for him to bolt. Upon realizing that he was frozen and transfixed by the vision in white before him, the crowd sat back comfortably in their seats and listened to him, in a high pitch, choked-up voice, recite his vows.
I watched from a good vantage point as the Mommies in the audience held back their tears of joy, they were choked-up as well by the grooms teary display. After the ceremony I heard a number of Mommies remark about how sweet it was when the handsome young man faltered, nearly crying at the alter.
As a Professor of Matrimony I've been to hundreds, if not thousands of weddings. Each time I've witnessed different forms of this sobbing spectacle, It's been interpreted as tears of joy by the Mommies and tears of fear and trepidation by most guys in attendance. All I can say is that since Mommy is always right, the women must be correct about the groom's sentiments.
End Report.